Practice Guidance
Domestic Violence
Contents
- Introduction
- Approaches to Domestic Violence
- Impact of Domestic Violence and Parenting
- Impact on Children and Young People
- Perpetrators of Domestic Violence
- What Works: Safety and Risk Assessment
- Safety Planning
- Children and Safety Planning
- Disclosure
- How to Ask
- Child Protection Conferences
1. Introduction
1.1 This practice guidance is based on the common Government definition of domestic violence. It follows the definition used by the Association of Chief Police Officers and is “any incident of threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional) between adults who are or have been intimate partners or family members, regardless of gender or sexuality”.
1.2 Domestic violence usually escalates over time and a variety of abusive behaviour often occurs within the relationship. Domestic violence can happen to anyone regardless of age, gender, race, culture, location, disability and sexuality.
1.3 The majority, and most severe, incidents of domestic violence are committed by men against women. However, some women do perpetrate domestic violence against their family members and against their female or male partners. Domestic violence can take place in heterosexual or same sex relationships.
1.4 One of the most challenging aspects of domestic violence is that it takes place within relationships where people expect to be nourished and nurtured, have their integrity respected and where people are also encouraged to show loyalty, compassion and understanding.
1.5 For people in same sex relationships, from a black or minority ethnic community or with a disability, further stigma and stereotype can exacerbate the challenge of talking about domestic violence. There are also practical considerations for people to face such as the lack of appropriate alternative accommodation, issues affecting immigration status, fears around confidentiality, language barriers, and the risk of further isolation.
1.6 In all work with survivors and their children, it is important to keep in mind that people and families can and do move on from domestic violence.
2. Approaches to Domestic Violence
2.1 Domestic violence is complex and is about far more than the question of ‘to leave or not to leave’. People who have experienced domestic violence can be particularly sensitive to power and control issues within relationships, including working relationships. This means that workers need to guard against promoting or fostering feelings of powerlessness, dependency and unnecessarily taking control.
2.2 Exploring and acknowledging previous and current resistance and coping strategies helps to gain a clearer context of the domestic violence and can introduce a positive, ‘active’ role for the family members. Such a context informs safety assessments and planning.
2.3 Women will often choose to return, but later leave again and they are more likely to approach an agency for help again if they have felt supported and validated. However, in supporting the woman, the interests of the child must remain paramount.
3. Impact of Domestic Violence and Parenting
3.1 There is clear evidence from research and personal testimony that experience of domestic violence can have a severe impact on health and self-esteem, which in turn can have a negative impact on parenting, education, employment and housing, amongst other areas.
3.2 The adult victim/survivor will have had their confidence in parenting undermined. In many incidences, the abuser will have specifically focussed on this as part of the abuse, with threats of what agencies will do if the situation is known. Management of these fears and anxieties needs to be considered at each point of contact in order to gain as full a picture as possible.
3.3 People who have experienced domestic violence may well initially minimise the impact the domestic violence has had on them and their family, due again to complex reasons that may include fear of further violence, loss of control, perceived and real social rejection or stigma.
3.4 A parent, guardian or other caregiver may be aware of what is happening to the children and/or young person or may choose not to see that impact because of their own neediness. The child may also make detailed efforts to hide the impact of the domestic violence on them.
3.5 The following are areas likely to be affected:
- Challenges in setting and maintaining boundaries
- Insecure attachment
- Emotional withdrawal
- Inappropriate levels of responsibility
- Inappropriate perceptions of control
- Frustration and lack of understanding of behaviour, and needs
- Disruption in routine
- Poverty
- Looking to child for emotional security
- Feeling unable to cope
3.6 Children and adults can show remarkable resilience and this should be stressed to a parent moving away from a situation of domestic violence. Many parents report improvements in their children’s behaviour within a short time of moving into/establishing a safe environment. Many parents who have experienced domestic violence do manage to create and sustain healthy and valuable relationships with their children and with future partners. There are tools and resources that can be helpful when working with parents on these issues (see Appendix A).
4. Impact on Children and Young People
(Particular reference should be made to the guidance in the Children In Need Assessment Framework document)
4.1 Domestic violence usually occurs within the home environment. Many children and young people are unseen or discounted when it comes to acknowledging the harm of living with the conflict of domestic violence.
However, babies, children and young people are always affected by domestic violence, and on a variety of levels will ‘know’ what is happening. There is also a strong association between domestic violence against an adult and direct abuse of the children in the household.
4.2 Children may have been directly involved in the abuse and been told to participate in the abuse of others. Many ambivalent feelings can be present and children and young people may have reached their own understanding of why the domestic violence is happening. It is important for the child or young person to have the time to explore these issues with a safe and appropriate adult
4.3 There is no conclusive evidence that children will grow up to become violent adults and it is important to dispel this very powerful myth when working with families. However, the long-term effects of children growing up with the behavioural models associated with domestic violence should not be under estimated. This may be over-controlling and volatile behaviour or behaviour which is over-compliant or placatory. The long-term effects are likely to be increased the longer the violence continues.
4.4 Where possible, it is necessary to understand the child’s experiences directly from them. Children may hold ambivalent feelings about the adults in their lives, due to the domestic violence. They may need support to work through these feelings/experiences, once in a position of safety.
4.5 The following list covers some of the impact domestic violence can have on children and young people. It is not exhaustive and every child, even within one family, will respond in different ways.
- Physical injuries, including bruises, burns, broken bones and even death, through suicide or homicide
- Stress related physical complaints, including those arising from lack of, or interrupted sleep
- Attachment issues, including overwhelming fear for caregiver, fear of separation from caregiver
- Volatile emotions and aggressive behaviour, nightmares
- Depression, withdrawal and loss of self-esteem, through embarrassment and shame
- Heightened anxiety, jumpiness, trying to predict others moods and actions
- Eating disorders and other forms of self-harm such as self-injury, substance use and increased risk-taking behaviours
- Poor school attendance and a change in performance, attention or focus
- Perceived developmental regressions, such as bedwetting; anxiety about identity, about becoming an adult, about being vulnerable
4.6 Social and cultural issues need to be taken into account. Racist abuse may have been directed at the child/young person, and they may carry concerns relating to their actions and the impact on the wider family or community. Children with disabilities may feel, and may have been encouraged to feel blame for the abuse, may not have been able to move out of the way or may have difficulties in verbalising their distress.
5. Perpetrators of Domestic Violence
5.1 Accountability for the domestic violence clearly lies with the perpetrator. In acknowledging the prevalence of domestic violence it becomes clear that the perpetrators of domestic violence cannot have the blanket excuse, or condemnation, of being ‘sick’ or ‘disturbed’. However, where issues of alcohol misuse, drug abuse or mental illness are contributing factors, these need to be addressed in terms of safety planning and work with the perpetrator.
5.2 Research is beginning to indicate that it might be beneficial to apply different categories to perpetrators, particularly in assessing whether a domestic violence programme would be appropriate.
5.3 Anger management courses may, at times, be appropriate. More often they are not. Anger management is never the sole solution to domestic violence, which needs to be approached in a gender sensitive framework which takes into account the variety of ways in which someone can misuse their power and control (in addition to expressions of anger). Failure to do this can place the most vulnerable at increased risk.
5.4 Perpetrators of domestic violence are often very adept at manipulation and presenting a different image to people in public to that faced by those in their home environment. They can use conversations with workers to divert attention away from their behaviour and its consequences and to inappropriately focus on the behaviour of others.
5.5 Some may seem very congenial; others may present very aggressively. In both contexts, workers need to prioritise the safety of those who are most at risk. (Please also refer to Practice Guidance on Working with Hostile Families.) Victims will be acutely aware of how the workers around them are responding to the perpetrator’s behaviour.
5.6 Workers need to be aware that children can be used to further control and abuse the other adult and this is often intentional. This presents risk of further harm to the child as they are placed at the centre of the conflict.
5.7 Appendix A provides information on national agencies that can assist in risk assessment and referral for perpetrators. Resources remain stretched and very limited, and this needs to be borne in mind.
6. What Works: Safety and Risk Assessment
6.1 Safety planning work within domestic violence can be approached in different ways and at different levels depending on the circumstances and time available. It can be as narrow or as wide as circumstances allow – i.e. focussed on crisis planning, or work to establish safety in the long term.
6.2 Many agencies are beginning to adopt standardised risk assessment models for cases of domestic violence. Please see the list of national resources in Appendix A.
7. Safety Planning
7.1 The risks to women increase at the point of separation and afterwards.
Work can be done with the victim/survivor of domestic violence to make a plan of action for quickly escaping a violent situation. Plans that involve collecting the children from the partner at a later date, may not be safe.
The plan should include:
- Identifying a safe place to go
- Identifying a safe place for children to go to if not the same
- Putting money aside for taxi fares, telephone calls, food and overnight accommodation
- Telling a professional or trusted neighbour about the situation
- Getting copies of, or placing important identity information somewhere safe (with a friend, hidden in the house, at a PO Box)
- Putting a change of clothes and other essential items (including medication) somewhere safe which they can access in a hurry
7.2 Consider asking the following questions:
- What things are you worried about right now?
- If you stay, how do you think things will be?
- If you left or tried to leave do you think that would make things better or worse? how?
7.3 Other considerations (all of which may well be used by the perpetrator to oppress):
- Financial considerations (resources, income, employment history)
- Home location (are resources available, where are family and friends?)
- Physical and mental health (do these limit the options available?)
- Perception or experience of social institutions (positive or negative)
- Risk to pets who may not be able to accompany the woman and children
- Immigration status
8. Children and Safety Planning
8.1 Work on safety planning can be helpful for children and young people, including an assessment of what mechanisms they are already putting into place to manage their situation. Assessments can be made on what action the child or young person already does when they perceive a dangerous or uncomfortable situation. Clear statements need to be made about the domestic violence not being their responsibility and that they need to take steps to cover their own safety first and foremost rather than thinking of intervening.
9. Disclosure
9.1 Good practice following a disclosure (some professionals choose now to prefer the term allegation) of domestic violence:
- Validate the experience by acknowledging the feelings/ information and their weight and importance
- Be clear about confidentiality and its limits (both adult and child), including information that will be written down
- Be realistic about the support that can be offered immediately and in the long term
- Value strengths in surviving until now and for protecting children as best they could with the resources they had available then
- Do not rush someone into decisions but be clear about the risks to children in this situation
- Check out how safe they feel, in general and in terms of the moment and the plans for the rest of the day
- Record information, and be clear about what is being recorded, why, and who will see that information
10. How to Ask
10.1 Feeling comfortable talking about domestic violence and being prepared to listen to what is being said and not said can create anxiety. Many agencies will have procedures in place to assist workers in this.
10.2 As a general guide, women prefer to be asked directly, rather than the emphasis being on them to disclose.
10.3 Knowledge of what can be involved in cases of domestic violence and the fears people may have around disclosing, can make a real difference in establishing a ‘safe’ environment.
10.4 Tools like the power and control wheel (see Appendix B) can be useful for exploration, and it can be helpful to think about the language that is being used by the victim/survivor. There’s not one magic question to suit all. It is worth remembering that there are numerous variables, and that it may be several contacts later before more information is shared.
10.5 Adults
If sufficient trust has been built, open questions about the nature of the abuse will help the service user disclose, and, in some cases, deal with the situation, e.g.
- Do you feel safe at home?
- Who do you talk to when you’re upset, scared or angry?
- What is it like at home if someone is upset, or if there is a disagreement?
- How do you manage when you feel upset?
- Does anybody know what it’s like at home for you?
- What do the children do when there’s conflict (or any of the stated behaviours)?
10.6 Children
- Do you worry about your family?
- What kind of things get you feeling scared, or angry?
- How do the adults you know make decisions?
- Do you feel safe at home?
- Who do you talk to when you’re upset?
- What kind of things do you do when you’re scared or angry?
- What do you do when your mum/dad (etc) are upset?
- How does your mum/dad behave when they’re upset?
- Where do you go to be safe?
10.7 Safeguarding the child must be the guide to when and how to share information.
11. Child Protection Conferences
11.1 Those convening the conference should have clear, evidence-based views, on risks posed to both workers and service users and how to manage these. This includes thoughts on who should attend, whether parties need to be kept separate (within and outside of the meeting), how issues of confidentiality and safety will be addressed and monitored and if any additional security measures are required. Consideration should also be given to bail conditions imposed on the perpetrator, such as distance, not making contact, and how to manage this at the conference.
Please refer to Chapter 6: Initial Child Protection Conferences
11.2 Any relevant agency should be invited to attend, including workers from any domestic violence services supporting the family. Workers from domestic violence agencies with a focus on providing support to adult survivors may not feel able to submit a written report or give their recommendations regarding registration due to their primary focus on supporting the adult survivor.
11.3 Any agency not able to attend the conference should arrange, where possible, to discuss their input with the chairperson. Written reports should be submitted 5 days in advance of the conference. This report should include detail of the family’s current situation, services being provided, the impact of the violence on the children, an assessment of risks to the children, the children’s wishes and feelings and issues about future work or services required to meet identified needs.
Appendix A
Resources and Support
Resources change frequently. A current list is available from Domestic Violence Forum.
Leicester Domestic Violence Forum: 0116 255 0004 www.leicesterdv.org
Leicester Domestic Violence Co-ordinator: 0116 252 8566
Leicestershire Domestic Violence Co-ordinator: 0116 265 6017 (includes Rutland)
National 24hr Domestic Violence Help Line: 0808 2000 247
Broken Rainbow: 07812 644 914 - (Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual and Transgender DV Forum)
Child Line: 0800 11 11 - www.childline.org.uk
Samaritans: 0800 027 1234
Appendix B
